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Gunslingers to peacemakers E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Gunslinger
Don't pull out that gun!
My house resembles a war zone more than a home. Two of my kids in particular seem to have been in a constant shootout throughout their whole lives. Sometimes it drives me so wild that I get out my gun (which is far bigger than theirs) and shoot the blazes out of them. The result? Quiet for about 5 minutes and then bang, bang, bang. Kids are so frustrating; they don’t come with an instruction manual, a volume control or an off switch. If you have several then they seem to take driving you crazy in shifts, whether its by fighting with each other, complaining or having to be told to do everything every single time.

I’ve been learning that my kids are gunslingers, not just because they were born that way, but also because their Dad is a sharp shooter himself. How will they learn to resolve their conflicts if I always pull out and use my gun? Then I asked myself how I’d come to the place where my kids had just become annoying to me, like a disturbance in my tranquillity? Do I love my own comfort more than my kids? So far I have to admit that I have failed to help them get to the heart of their conflicts, focusing only on achieving peace as quickly and as effortlessly as possible.

If my kids are going to change from being gunslingers to peacemakers, then I have to change first. This involves me learning to leave my gun in its holster even when they are firing at me. My desire is to love my kids by getting to know them better. Why do they fight so much? What is it they are wanting which makes them fight? Engaging them together in safe discussions will be a good start to helping my whole family begin to change from being gunslingers to peacemakers.

Listen to or watch my messages on this theme (Live the gospel) @ www.godsgap.net/identity


the Rev (Chris Perona)

Life Church; The Gap Presbyterian

 
Relationships a mess worth making? E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Western Echo Newspaper Article

Alone
Alone : (
Lately I’ve lived on an emotional island; engaging with people only as much has been required. I’ve been hiding. People in my life have let me down and I’m angry. Distance has been my friend; it has made me feel safe.

But within my safety there is loneliness and that hurts. So I reach out to people for comfort, for friendship and find that it takes effort with sometimes no reward. So I retreat again to my island. Relationships are messy, awkward, painful and necessary. I recognise a repeating cycle in my life where I reach out for relationship and then shrink back again. This explains why I might be warm, friendly and engaging, then cold, quiet and emotionally distant.

Just before Jesus was going to be betrayed and abandoned by his disciples to be tortured and killed he did something remarkable. After dinner he washed his disciple’s feet. Eeewww. That job was for slaves and yet Jesus, being God, in humility served his disciples. Despite the stress and tiredness Jesus must have felt, despite the disciple’s unworthiness he still washed their feet (John 13:1-20).

Relationships are a gift to me from God. They are an opportunity to humbly serve regardless of how sad or tired I feel or how messy, unworthy and unappreciative they may be. Jesus teaches that it is better to serve than be served. Wow, that is hard if you feel like living on an emotional island. I realise now that relationships are meant to be messy and difficult. They are meant to be emotionally draining for me. Why? So that I can’t rely on myself; so that I learn to live in the mess of relationships with God’s help.

With God I can tear myself away from the computer and cook dinner for the family and then wash the dishes while everyone disappears. I can catch my anger before it explodes when one of my kids has forgotten to bring something with them (again). I can reach out to my wife with emotional kindness whether she notices or not. I’m coming to realise that, with God, relationships are a mess worth making.

Listen to or watch my messages on this theme (Live the gospel) @ www.godsgap.net/relationships

 
Content E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Newspaper Article: Western Echo
tired kitty
Are you tired?

When I wake up in the morning I groan as my mind is flooded with all I didn’t get done yesterday which has now been added to this day. As my feet touch the carpet I already feel tired. I shuffle my reluctant body into the kitchen where my bright eyed bushy tailed children have learnt to give me emotional space. My dog is exploding with excitement as he anticipates our early morning jog. Why am I like this, why am I so tired and stressed?

In all that I own and all that I do there is one thing which is missing; contentment. Stopping to reflect on my life reveals that there is a lot that drives me. The need to provide and care for my wife, children and church family. But there are less honorable impulses within me; greed is certainly one of them. Not in terms of being filthy rich but greedy in terms of wanting to be successful in my work, really wanting times where I can have time to enjoy myself without having a demand/question or expectation thrown into my tranquility. It’s as though contentment is a ship that has be cut loose and is now drifting further away from me so that no matter how much I achieve I’m still dissatisfied.

Greed and discontent is not what God wants. He specifically tells us; “You shall not covet” (be greedy). He even gives me a list of what I shouldn’t be greedy or jealous of; you shall not covet your neighbour’s house, his wife, his donkey (car), his servants (employees or electrical appliances) nor anything that is your neighbour’s. In other words God would have me learn to be content, whether I have much or little. The challenge I think for me is to learn to be content with God and with what he has provided for me rather than always racing ahead, living always for tomorrow while missing out on the blessing of today. Like washing the dishes with one of my kids, going for a walk, enjoying the work I’ve been given to do.

So rather than fulfill the greed of my heart God has set to work to change me so that I learn to be content.

Listen to or watch my messages on this theme (Live the gospel) @ www.godsgap.net/content

 
A Change of Heart E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Newspaper Article (Western Echo)
Broken Heart
A change of heart

If God is real then why doesn’t he help me more? Work is hard, kids misbehave, marriage can be lonely, humiliating, frustrating and painful. If God can do anything, then why doesn’t he do something to make my life easier and happier? The focus of my questions is fixed upon the circumstances of my life that I don’t like, that I find hard or challenging. My thinking is that if my circumstances could be changed, then I would enjoy life a lot more. So a lot of my time, energy and life is about trying either to change my circumstances or prevent them from getting worse.

God’s focus and energy is spent in a completely different place. The problem that I have is the problem of what I want. Comfort, enjoyment, peace, success, power are all things that I want.  And I think that by being successful at work, having kids that behave and a wife that fulfills my needs and wants will give them to me . However God is more interested in helping me within the challenge, within the suffering and within the pain of my life rather than preventing bad stuff from happening.

God’s project is the changing of my heart, which means changing what I want. If I come home and find I’ve been elected as chief negotiator of yet another argument between the kids, how will I choose to respond? God would like me to ask for his help. God would like me to use this bad circumstance to grow in my patience, kindness and willingness to help my wife with the kids rather than getting angry, being unkind, and withdrawing into my man cave for some peace and quiet.

God wants me to learn to care less about myself; less about what suits me and how I would like things to be and instead to start caring more about my wife, kids and work. Caring involves getting to know people, which involves listening, encouraging and helping.  I’ve been too busy and as a result I’ve drifted away from my wife and kids. It is time to slow down and spend more time with them so that I can to enter into their world. More than giving me what I want, God is trying to give me something far more valuable - a change of heart.

Listen to or watch my messages on this theme (Live the gospel) @ www.godsgap.net

 
Bewildering Freedom E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Newspaper article (Western Echo)

Treasure
What do you treasure?
Typically if you ask me how my day has been I’ll instantly refer to my mental list of what’s happened; both good and bad. If the bad outweighs the good then it has been a bad day. We all have had one of those days - when we we’ve slept in, skipped breakfast, had trouble finding our shoes and then as we are tying up the laces... snap. You miss the bus, you’re late for work, and the day hasn’t even started yet.

There are days I long to escape and just lie on the beach, without the knowledge that back home there are crises of life to return to. Why is life more bitter than sweet? Why are there more tears than laughs? Why does my life have to NOT work out so often? Why can’t I enjoy life more? The answer to these questions is a bewildering freedom that may scare you half to death, so hold on.

Jesus taught “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:34. What he means by this is that what you worry about shows what is in control of your life. I worry that I’m going to fail at work, that my marriage is going to grow stale, that my kids are going to grow up delinquents, that people are going to reject me. So all of these are important to me, and I weigh up whether my day has been good or bad depending on whether I feel like I’ve done well at work, my wife loves me, my kids have behaved and people have been friendly to me.

Jesus came to free me from what I want. He wants me to worry about being patient when I feel like yelling at my kids. He wants me to be kind to my wife who may have hurt my feelings. He wants me to care about the people I work with rather than competing against them. He wants me to learn to measure my day not on whether “my will has been done” but rather whether I’m becoming more like him in the middle of the crises of my life. I don’t have to let my worries drive me anymore because Jesus has given me a bewildering freedom.

the Rev (Chris Perona)
 
Beyond Distraction E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Overwhelmed
Feeling overwhelmed?
Being a father of four kids I’ve learnt to work and study with all manner of household noise. But I do have my limits, particularly when the kids have gone mad with silliness and I’m on the phone. That’s when I politely tell the person to hang on and then ROAR for QUIET!!!!.

How many voices yell for your attention throughout the day? I’m talking about the voices of your desires. Things like wishing you could get married, wishing you weren’t married, wishing your kids would turn out right, wishing you had just a bit more money, wishing you could have a restful holiday, wishing work or school wasn’t so hard.

We live in a noisy world because our hearts are noisy. The Bible calls this noise and these wishes “the lust of the flesh.” A lust is a normal desire gone mad. For example you may want your kids to grow up right to be good persons. That is a normal desire given by God. However it can easily go mad and be transformed into a lust - something that you must have, something that you can’t do without.

When your child is naughty do you go way over the top? Are you like a KGB agent always on their case, exposing their every flaw, correcting their every wrong? Do you yell and rage at your child because they continue to disobey you? That is not God given; it is Lust - an out-of control desire for perfect kids who bring us praise.

Lust is deceptively common and we often expect God to fulfill it for us. We want health, a good job, to be popular, to be happy and not sad, to be able to retire, to have good friends. But all of these are voices which can yell at you for attention, that pour anxiety into your life, that fill your heart and mind with noise.

If your life is filled with noise then I hope you will find my message “Peace, Be Still” practical and helpful. May you learn to both calm and quiet your heart so that you can experience real peace within the chaos that each day brings. the Rev

 

 
For goodness sake E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Western Echo Newspaper Article

Do Good
For Goodness Sake
I’m currently doing a distant education counselling course which has proved both stimulating and personally painful. I’ve begun to evaluate my life; my motives, my strengths (which can be weakness), my fears and my addictions. In short I’ve started asking the question “What is good.”

Much of what I do and don’t do is based on what I functionally believe is good. For example I like things to be fast, slow = bad. I ride a motor bike, I like playing squash more than tennis and I like anything that is intense. But recently I’ve come to realise that fast is not always good. Sometimes missing the bus and having to wait can benefit me by forcing me to slow down (assuming I’m not calling fire down from heaven).

Slowing down means that I’m more likely to have to face my fears and hurts which ‘fast’ helps me avoid. I know that some people choose to escape their fears by withdrawing, personally, emotionally and perhaps even physically. Why do I find it easier to play computer games, to hide in my man cave rather than make the effort to relate to my wife and kids? It’s because good = what makes me feel good. That varies a lot from person to person. Maybe romance, sex, alcohol, drugs, novels, movies, comfort food are what feels good to you.

Here is what I believe is always good. These are qualities that we should seek to develop; “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23).” These qualities are the very nature and character of Jesus Christ which explains why they are called the ‘Fruit of the Spirit.’ As we face 2010 lets be more thoughtful about what we will try to achieve, avoid and consume. Instead of seeking what makes us feel good the challenge is for us to do good for goodness sake.

Listen to or watch my messages on this theme @ www.godsgap.net/goodness

 

 
De-Stressing Christmas E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Stress
Is stress getting to you?
Christmas isn’t called the silly season for nothing. It is a time of year that I’m glad to get through. Each year as a Pastor, I experience not so much the stress of Christmas but people’s distress during Christmas.

Christmas is a time where you have to spend time with people you don’t like; your family. There isn’t any family I’ve come across that has not been hurt by divorce and/or significant tension, arguments and even hatred. So each year we exercise the season of good will by being forced to spend time with people who remind us of the scars we have and have given.

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The toughest challenge: Humility E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Tough
Getting through the mine field of pride
Every time you are angry and annoyed, it’s because you have not forgiven. Have you ever wondered about what is beneath your anger and unforgiveness? What is the cause of conflict in your life, why do you argue, fight and hurt? Beneath your anger and unforgiveness is pride.

Pride is the reason why we fight in the first place. Pride is the reason why we don’t forgive; pride is the reason why we get angry. We are like spoilt children throwing a tantrum when we don’t get what we want. Adults have their own ways of having hissy fits; they may not be as dramatic as thrashing around on the floor but they can be much more hurtful and cruel.

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Redeeming Memories E-mail
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Western Echo Article
Redemption
Don't let your memories hold a gun to your head

Unforgiveness is what you uncover when you look beneath the surface of anger. Every time you get annoyed, frustrated, resentful and angry you have the option of forgiving which pulls the plug on anger. I’ve found it amusing practicing forgiveness while driving my car. When I start to feel annoyed or angry at drivers who are ill mannered, I forgive them. Calm is restored.  You can try this one at home, work, and with your friends.

Can anything be done about things I’ve done which stubbornly force themselves into my thinking to be replayed in my mind? Stuff I’m angry that I did or didn’t stop when I had a chance. Some people have shared with me their innermost secrets and innermost struggles. In common with them all is a sense of being unable to forgive themselves for something that happened in their past. They can’t seem to forget their bad memory, so they carry it with them like an emotional injury which won’t heal. Bad memories hurt and sometimes they make us feel like we need to punish ourselves.

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Forgive E-mail
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Western Echo Newspaper Article

Forgive
Forgiving leads to reconciliation
One of the things I hate about being a Pastor of a Church is that usually I am made to experience what I’m preaching.  If I’m preaching on patience, then things go really wrong and get very frustrating. God has fun with me. Someone jokingly said I should preach on being wealthy, ha ha.

To get my own back I’ve been preaching a sermon series in an area which I’ve already started to work on. I’ve made a remarkable discovery. For a long time I’ve been working hard to overcome my tendency to get angry - with my kids, with my wife, with my Church and with my God. As the intoxicating fumes of anger began to clear I suddenly saw that a lot of my anger was fuelled by unforgiveness.

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Love Life E-mail
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Western Echo Newspaper Article

Oasis
Let Christ be your Oasis
“Life sucks and then you die” – that’s what I often said and often thought as a teenager. The wreckage of my life fueled my anger, loneliness and selfishness. Life for me was an opportunity to use and hurt people for the hurt that I felt had been done to me. As I look back, my life became steadily darker. The more I did what I wanted, the more I tried to fulfill my heart’s desires, the worse I felt. It was like the void would get bigger the more I tried to fill it.


I still struggle with anger, loneliness and selfishness but, unlike before, I’m more than these things. Darkness still lurks in my heart but it no longer defines me. The void that once grew has shrunk so that it no longer fills me. Now I’m able to say that I am learning to love life.

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From Funeral to Celebration: Luke 7:11-17 E-mail
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Western Echo Newspaper Article
freedom
Funeral to Celebration

What happened when a widow who was burying her only son meets Jesus on the way to the grave? Christ had compassion on her, touched the coffin and raised her son from the dead. Her funeral was turned into celebration. But what does that mean for you?

Does your life feel like a funeral? Are you weeping on the inside not just because you’re hurting but because you are so afraid? I know that feeling. As a boy I hid under the blankets of my bed trying not to hear my mum and dad yelling at each other. I sat on my father’s knee as he told me he was leaving and was never coming back. Up until then I had lived within the ever escalating tension of a couple who had come to hate each other. But on my Dad’s knee God shattered my world completely. I stopped living, I stopped hoping.

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Changing Masters E-mail
Western Echo Articles

slavery
Happiness can be a cruel master
The worst type of slavery is one disguised as freedom. We all want to be free to pursue happiness without pausing to consider whether our pursuit of happiness is in fact a form of slavery. We study to get a good job so that we can afford happiness. We have friends to be happy, we enter into intimate relationships to be happy and some believe in God hoping that he will will bring happiness.
I’ve noticed that people get very depressed about happiness. They may have most things they thought would make them happy and found that they are not. Or they feel that they will never manage to attain their goals, or they lose what had made them happy. People sometimes lose hope and their will to live because they can’t see how they can ever be happy.

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Hunting Joy E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Sniper
Hunting Joy
Hunters use a range of skills to catch their prey. They might use camouflage and lie in wait. They may stalk and then chase. Humans are the most resourceful of all hunters. And yet we are seldom successful in our hunt for joy. When we finally catch joy it has a nasty habit of escaping.
Hunting joy is difficult because there are many circumstances that can make it disappear even when we have it in our grasp. A peaceful cup of tea  is disrupted by a phone call; a nice meal spoiled by an argument; a  great job ruined by a demanding or unfair boss. Dare I say that young people today lack in their hunting ability?  Joy must come to them; if something isn’t entertaining, if it takes effort then it is labeled “boring”. Older people are obsessed with hunting joy. They spend enormous effort, time and money with very little success. And perhaps that explains why young people aren’t enthusiastically following our example.

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Certainly Uncertain E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Ice Cream
Freedom sometimes gets messy
As Aussies we love our freedom. None of us likes being told what to do. We have never been satisfied with enough, but have always sought to continue to expand our freedom from the government, from the church, from absolutes/truth, from our parents, from our employer, from our family, friends and partners. Never before have we enjoyed so much freedom. There is virtually no right or wrong way to live which means we feel free to live however we want. 

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Immoral woman kisses Jesus E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Forgiven woman
Christ forgives the humble
This happened when Jesus was having dinner with some religious leaders. They couldn’t believe their eyes. What they saw made them seriously doubt Jesus’ teaching and claims about himself. After all any prophet from God would have known what kind of woman she was, so why was Jesus allowing her to kiss him? (see the Gospel of Luke 7:36-50).

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The privilege of responsibility E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Mountain Climber
Achievement is rarely easy
Why do little kids never want to pack up their toys? Why do kids resist doing their chores at home? Why do teenagers always push against their parents’ expectations? Why do young adults live together instead of getting married? Why do married couples give up on each other and get divorced? Why do people change jobs more often these days? Why do old people get so grumpy?

There is one answer to all these questions. Everyone wants to enjoy privilege without responsibility. Toys without packing up, home life without effort, freedom without consequence, sex without commitment, love without sacrifice, money without hard work, respect without patience and understanding.

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What does love give? E-mail
Western Echo Articles

heart
What does love give?
Everyone loves getting presents at Christmas, especially young children. They nearly burst with excitement as they eagerly tear away the wrapping paper. For young kids the object of their affection is the present itself (or if they are really little, it will be the box or the paper they love). As they grow older they start to hope and perhaps expect to get what they want for Christmas.

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Surviving Families E-mail
Western Echo Articles

juggling
Multitasking is handy
Strong Man
Strength to bear responsibility

Join together a male chauvinist, a feminist and some terrorists and you get an average family. Men and women are gifted differently on purpose so that they can work as a team to love each other and raise their children. The paradox of family is that there is unity and rivalry at the same time. Each member of a family is different which can be both helpful and annoying.

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Are you like an Elephant? E-mail
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Elephant
Are you like an elephant?

You may be more like an elephant than you think. Apparently circus elephants are chained to a stake in the ground. Having asked why the elephant doesn’t simply use it considerable weight and strength to rip the stake out of the ground the following explanation was given. When an elephant is still a baby it is chained to a stake and it does everything it can to escape; it pulls hard against the chain but cannot free itself. Eventually the elephant learns that it cannot escape and it remembers this for the rest of its life so that it becomes more a prisoner in its mind than in reality.

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The Unfolding of 'Self' E-mail
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Frangipani Flower
The unfolding of self
Flower bud
Bud opens to a flower
I wrote a review on a short documentary called ‘The Wall’ which was about a person’s mental barrier towards his work which he found very boring. He became so depressed about going to work that he would literally stand frozen still on the street. Here’s what I wrote…

“We live in a culture that has become intoxicated with ‘self.’ We’ve turned so far in on ourselves that we are afraid to feel sad, bored, upset, frustrated… so we go numb or succumb to ‘the wall.’ People need to have a hope and motivation outside of ‘self.’ “

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Love vs Like E-mail
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Cats
Love is deeper than friendship
We have a tendency to love people we like. There is an attraction towards people who share our interests. Many couples would say they are attracted to each other because they feel compatible. They may have the same hobbies, interest or life experience. Deep down they like each other and on that basis they fall in love.

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Beyond instinct E-mail
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Love
A picture of love?
There was an article in the Courier Mail called “Believe in the power of love” (Wed, June 18 p43). The article endeavoured to make a distinction between lust and love. In summary the article argued that lust was selfish while love was much more self giving, lust tends to be shallow and short lived while love had a depth and constancy. The article went on to describe what it feels like to be in love and at this point I became disappointed.

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Purpose or Chance? E-mail
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Cross
Christ shares our suffering
Chance challenges God by pointing to world events like the cyclone in Burma, the earthquake in China and the suffering we experience in our own lives. When we embrace chance as the fundamental principle of the universe and turn away from believing in God, there is a promise of godlike independence. When chance is enthroned over your life, you will be free from any moral obligation and guilt.

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Vapour and Shooting stars E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Mist
We are like mist/vapour
One of the things about being an Aussie is that we don’t like people big-noting themselves.  We are known for cutting down tall poppies. We are loyal to our mates and we love our land “girt by sea” – but we don’t hold our hand on our heart when we sing our anthem. There is a certain amount of irreverence to our characters that makes us enjoy making fun of our friends and being made fun of by them.

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Master your feelings E-mail
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Jesus
Not my will, but yours be done
The biggest controlling influence in your life is not your religion, not your family/friends, nor your work or dreams. Nothing has you more tightly in its grasp than your feelings: happiness is good and sadness/hurt is bad. The goal then is to pursue things that make you feel happy and avoid things that make you feel sad/hurt. If you hate ironing then you will more than likely avoid it until you have nothing decent to wear. When you go out for dinner you eat what you feel like. Holidays are enjoyable because you can do what you feel like rather than having to go to work.

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Still the storm E-mail
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calm sea
Christ can still your storm
In the movie I am legend billions of people are wiped out by a virus. In New York one man survives and is plunged into a world of silence and stillness. Silence is used to great effect throughout this movie; it builds tension and at times feels oppressive. Will Smith’s character is told that it is easier to hear God speak because the world has become quiet.

We live in a world of noise. It is all around us, the sound of traffic, mowers, chain saws, mobile phones, iPods in our ears, movies— and the noise of our own minds. We face so many challenges at home, work and with friends that our minds become cluttered with many different thoughts and emotions. We sometimes use noise to hide from our own thoughts— especially when our thoughts may be trying to get through to us about something in our lives. Silence can be scary because it can force our minds to dwell on our pains, our failures, our guilt and our shame.

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The most powerful thing in the world E-mail
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Enchanted
Love's Kiss
In fairytales the most powerful thing in the world is love’s kiss (see the film ‘Enchanted’). In the real world there is something even more powerful than love’s kiss. It is responsible for some of man’s greatest and worst achievements; it is responsible for heart transplants, man walking on the moon and two world wars to name a few.

The most powerful thing in the world is your tongue. We achieve everything with words  — we think in words, we communicate with words and we impose ourselves on other people with words. Words can either be so uplifting or so hurtful. How many times have you started a fight without even trying? Have you ever wondered why your tongue gets you into so much trouble? Is there any hope for our tongues?

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Christmas Hope E-mail
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Santa plane
Christmas = more than presents
What is your Christmas hope this year? Is it to enjoy a good time with family and friends? Maybe you’re hoping for a particular Christmas present, or that you can get through the silly season with your sanity intact. Juggling times to see family and friends can be stressful and sometimes painful. For this reason it can be a relief when it’s all over for another year.

Christmas more than any other time of the year should be a time of hope. Life can become so hectic, busy, complicated, frustrating, disappointing, painful and at times hopeless. Sometimes our hopes either don’t come true or they don’t end up being what we expected. We are just like kids who love getting presents, particularly ones they have been hoping for, but like most toys the novelty wears off and they get replaced.

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The Answer to: Life, the Universe and Everything? E-mail
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Hitchhikers Guide
The answer is '42'
‘42’ is the answer to this question according to ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ (by Douglas Adams). It’s not a particularly exciting, meaningful or helpful answer. When I asked some year 10 students what was the purpose of their lives they were perplexed. Some weren’t sure; some thought that their purpose was to find their purpose. 

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Facing Addiction Part III E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Dog
Monster Addiction
Addiction is like a monster. It will harass you until you give into what it wants. But in doing so the monster becomes stronger and more demanding. It becomes more difficult to resist and satisfy its cravings. The best way to deal with addiction is to replace it with a greater need. For example you may crave chocolate but not when your house is on fire. In such a case your life is more important than your craving. Overcoming an addiction requires a fundamental change in the way you understand your needs.

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Facing Addiction Part II E-mail
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Houdini
Captivity of addiction
Addiction is the habit of giving into temptation. What interests us is why we readily ‘give in’ with so often very little resistance. The heart of the dilemma is our inner desire—not the objects, people or things that we so strongly crave. If a mad scientist was able to disintegrate all chocolate from the world so that it could never be made again, those who are chocoholics would not suddenly be free of their addiction. Most likely their inner desire would shift their craving to something else, like fudge.

An addiction seeks to fill and satisfy a felt need (a desire). These felt needs are common to all human beings. We all have a strong desire to be accepted and popular, to be powerful and in control of our lives, to be successful and important, to be satisfied and happy. These core desires govern our lives. We take care to wear and to look a certain way so that we will be accepted by our friends. Bullies at school or at the work gain a sense of power and control by intimidating those they consider weak. Some people become workaholics so that they can feel successful and powerful. Generally food, drugs/alcohol and sex are used to gain as sense of satisfaction, happiness, excitement and comfort.

Addictions are deceptive. They may give a person some sense of acceptance, power, success and happiness but it comes with a cost. It usually means you have to be and do something to get what you want. Sometimes this doesn’t work. Your friends may reject you even though you’re trying to fit in. You can lose your job. You can lose control of your life. Eventually food, alcohol and sex don’t give the sense of satisfaction and happiness that they once did. But sadly, this usually leads a person further into their addiction: by eating more, drinking or using more drugs or being led deeper into sexual perversion.

God willing I hope to write Part III to Facing Addiction next month. In the meantime watch or listen to the messages at www.godsgap.net/triumph. If you would like to speak with me send me an email so that we can organise a confidential time to talk.

 the Rev (Chris Perona)

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Facing Addiction E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Chocolate
Mmmmm Chocolate
Wikipedia says “An addiction is a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity.” In simple terms people can have either a physical or emotional dependence. A drug addiction is said to be primarily physiological,  whereas a gambling addiction is primarily psychological. ‘Compulsion’ is the key to understanding both kinds of addiction. Why is it hard to give up drugs? Why is it hard to say ‘no’ to chocolate? The answer is we feel a strong compulsion to give in to our addiction.

Where does this compulsion come from? Is it something that is internal or external, physical or spiritual? Those who struggle with an addiction often feel like they can’t help themselves—they feel as though giving in is inevitable—and so it can be hard to work out where this compulsion comes from and how it works. It would be simplistic to say that a drug addiction is just a physical dependency because a person is more than a biological bag of bones. Let me suggest that an addiction affects the whole person: physically, emotionally and spiritually.

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Turning trials into triumphs E-mail
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Hit for a six
Hit for a six
Everybody hurts. Sometimes hurt darkens our vision. R.E.M’s song “Everybody hurts” seeks to encourage people to ‘hold on’ with the knowledge that ‘everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes’ and in this we are never alone. Perhaps the implication of their song is that if we ‘hold on’ the hurt will pass and we will once again be free of hurt.

Hurts are too valuable to waste; they are opportunities to triumph. When things go wrong it often feels like circumstances have hit you over the boundary line for a six. Our sense of happiness feels like it hangs on a thread; it is too easily hijacked and held ransom by so many different daily trials. But hurts, trials and suffering no longer need to be your enemy; you don’t have to be afraid of them any more. In fact it is possible to consider their presence in your life with joy.

Hurts have a purpose and a process. God uses pain as a way of helping us to exercise faith in him. This exercise produces patience and perseverance. God allows faith in him to be challenged so that faith can be strengthened. This is a process that leads to spiritual maturity where a person can face trials with joy because they know that they have the ability to turn their trials into triumphs. Rather than being knocked for a six you can knock the trial over the boundary line. Regardless of the pain in your life—whether it’s a flat tire, missing the bus, an exam, marital difficulties, or overcoming an addiction—you can face these trials with joy if you know and accept what they are for: to make you spiritually mature.

Learn how to turn your trials into triumphs by listening or watching the messages at www.godsgap.net/triumph

the Rev (Chris Perona)

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Work to live or live to work? E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Battery hens
How work can feel
As a teenager I worked hard as a paper boy to save up for my first car. I loved my first car, but it was a bomb and it cost me a lot money. I found myself wondering whether I had a car to get to work or whether I worked so that I could have my car.

The grind of work can really get you down, particularly if you can’t really afford to spend much on your days off. Throw in all the chores that need catching up on, family commitments, and you wonder where the weekend went. Have you ever wondered whether you have a life at all?

It’s not a bad thing to ask yourself ‘What is it I live for?’ Living for the weekend narrows your life too much. Working so that you can afford to consume products and services is too shallow. Working to make something of yourself is too self-centred and self-serving. So what is worth getting up for every morning of every day? Well not something that is temporary; like a car or a house, or a movie, or a massage or a nice meal out. What about getting up for something of real value -  something that reaches out beyond this life and into eternity?

We live in a finite material world but behind this world is an infinite spiritual realm. Wouldn’t it be great if you could tap into this realm in such a way that you could enjoy every part of your life, your work, your chores, even your difficult relationships? The first step is to consider Christ’s words in Mark 8:35-36 “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

If you would like to explore your spirituality further then watch or listen to the messages at www.godsgap.net/kingdom

 

 
Survival of the weakest E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Lion LambNatural selection teaches that the fittest characters are the best reproducers. They in turn pass on the successful changes/ingredients to their offspring who will out produce their peers. This is what is meant by “Survival of the fittest.” Evolution is a very appealing theory. We are attracted to it because it elevates the strong, the powerful, the beautiful, the famous and the athletic. We would all like to be at the top of the human food chain. We try to climb the social and careers ladder: we try to eat better; we try to be liked by important people; we try to be successful. But in reality we all struggle.  Even the best of the best get old and frail.

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Angry no more E-mail
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Angry GorillaAnger is powerful. Those who use it explosively become addicted to the effect it has on those around them. It is dangerously unpredictable and most people respond to it by withdrawing to a safe distance.

Those who use it enjoy its intoxicating quality of making them feel right and everyone else wrong. It makes them feel strong and everyone else weak; it makes them feel in  control of their lives. However, anger is like a drug: it only masks reality for a short time. Very often it only makes things far worse than they were before.

Not everyone uses anger explosively. Anger can be cold, calculating and outwardly hidden—until it strikes. Often this anger works at revenge by a thousand paper cuts; the cold shoulder, sarcasm, pointed humour and gossip are a few favourites. Cold anger can become a way of life; it is often critical and discontented.

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Survive marital drift E-mail
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boat agroundEvery couple has arguments. What’s fundamentally more dangerous to a relationship is not arguments but what I call drift. Over time couples change so they find they are not living with the same person they once knew. Many relationships fall apart because couples no longer enjoy the same sense of love and passion they first enjoyed.

In addition they realise that their interests have changed so that there is very little keeping them together. Perhaps it feels like there is more pushing them apart than there is pulling them together. This does not mean ‘the writing is on the wall’ for your relationship.

Opposites attract but after time what was attractive can become annoying; spontaneity becomes disorganisation, determination becomes stubbornness, extroversion becomes attention seeking. Many couples give in at this point and decide that it is easier to start again. But this often only repeats the same process; drift is a part of every relationship. Let me suggest that however your partner is annoying you, and perhaps pushing you away there is hope.

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How to ruin your marriage E-mail
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Nascar crashThere are many books that give marriage advice but none on how to ruin your marriage. It would seem that couples struggle without ever trying.

Why does it become harder to maintain the passion and romance in a marriage? Of course we can blame it on the busyness of kids, family, friends and work. But there is a deeper cause to our marriage difficulties. The challenge comes from having too high an expectation of our spouse.

Guys: Like to feel needed and useful; they like to protect and provide for their wife and kids. Above all they want to know that their wife respects them. It’s really tough on guys if their wife starts to put him down. If he feels that nothing he does is good enough he will either blow up or retreat into silence. If his romantic advances are rejected it can really discourage him because he wants to feel irresistible to his wife. When she resists (probably because she’s tired) he feels hurt.

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Take the ‘Worry’ out of Christmas E-mail
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Stress
Worry
’No worries’ is a phrase which is typical of our Australian psyche. We don’t like to get too worked up over things. We prefer having a BBQ with our ‘mates.’ When we say ‘No worries’ we mean that there is no problem or inconvenience to us. If you’re asked to help a friend your reply will often be “No worries.”

Despite our Aussie saying we do in fact worry.

Christmas is meant to be a celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth, a special time of peace and good will for everyone. Traditionally families get together at Christmas to enjoy a special meal and give presents. This reflects the gifts given to Jesus when he was a boy by the three wise men and God’s gift of his Son Jesus Christ to the world. Christ came to bring peace to a very troubled world.

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Spiritual Surfing E-mail
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Surf
Spiritual Surfing
Twice a week I go surfing. Not at the beach but at the Gap State High School. On Tues and Thurs I help Guy Hawkins (the School Chaplain) lead the Year 10 Spirituality class. To me it’s like spiritual surfing. It can be as exhausting and heartbreaking as it can be exciting and fulfilling. No two classes are the same and that’s the thrill of it. The aim of the classes is to encourage students to think about their own spirituality. It’s an opportunity for them to express and explore what they believe and to recognise how their beliefs affect not just their lives but the world around them.

The other day Guy had a whole stack of different black and white photos which he spread out on the floor. We each had to pick a photo that best represented where we were on our spiritual journey. One student chose a photo of a rail depot with hundreds of interconnecting tracks. This represented the spiritual opportunities he felt he had before him.

For me personally, I have grown a lot. It’s been great to explore important issues like how our values and beliefs affect the choices that we make. When was the last time you re-assessed your priorities? Is there more to life than work, family, friends and possessions? Perhaps there is a spiritual side to this world that you should look into?

If you would like to share in our spiritual journey then you can find a snapshot of each class at www.godsgap.net/gospiritual. The Rev (Chris Perona).

 

 
When depression moves in to stay E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Man in bondage
Depression
Depression is like a black hole. It’s a life that caves in on itself without ever filling the emptiness. The numbness of depression feels like death itself. Nothing is enjoyable. There is no energy. There is little will to live. When depression moves in to stay it brings with it an overwhelming feeling of isolation with no hope of recovery.

Depression makes you question the purpose of your life. Before it comes to stay you may have been happy to exist on very temporary goals and purposes, such as anticipating your next pay rise, buying a new pair of shoes or going out for dinner. However, if depression is your companion these things just aren’t good enough reasons to get out of bed. The power of depression is in its ability to strip you of being able to enjoy anything. So maybe it’s time to have a completely different reason to live.

Children grow up thinking that the universe revolves around what they want. Unfortunately, so do many adults. Life is about them, about what makes them happy, what they find satisfying, and so on. Depression takes all that away and leaves a choice. What will you live for? Living for yourself isn’t the right answer. You have to find a reason outside yourself to be able to face living a life with depression.

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How to cope when you’re not coping E-mail
Western Echo Articles

ImageEven though we may never have met, I know something about you. At times, you experience a  heaviness in your heart that makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Despite having friends you sometimes feel a loneliness that’s like an ache in your chest. There are times when you become so afraid that it feels like butterflies in your stomach. The heaviness, the aching and the butterflies are all symptoms of being overwhelmed. 

When you’re not coping it’s easy to turn inward, to shut down your emotions and go numb. Unfortunately, this isolates you even further and makes it harder to deal with your crises. Having gone through significant stress in my life, I’ve learned that sometimes you’re not meant to cope. The problem is that you expect to be in control of your life. None of us likes the feeling that our lives are out of our control. But occasionally reality catches up with us and our feeling of control explodes like a burst balloon.

Here is a golden opportunity to do something different. Don’t reconstruct the illusion of being in control. Instead, turn to the one who is in control. You are both a physical and spiritual being. You have an embodied soul. That soul was made by God so that you could be connected to Him. Spiritual disconnection is sometimes evidenced by the following emotions; fear, anger, guilt, shame, loneliness. Perhaps you’re not coping because you need to turn to God for help. If you would like to learn how to cope when you’re not coping then listen to message found at www.godsgap.net/howtocope. The Rev (Chris Perona).

 

 
God is like a bowl of vegies E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Bowl of vegiesGiven the choice between a bowl of vegetables and a bowl of hot, golden crispy chips which would you choose? It's a no brainer. Chips win over vegies every time; just try this experiment with kids. We choose chips over vegies because they taste soooo good. We don’t feel like eating the good things. Some foods like chips, chocolate and ice cream just make us feel good.

Spiritually, God is as attractive as a bowl of vegies.

Life for many people focuses nearly entirely on the material world: their work, their homes, their family, their friends, their wealth and their own happiness. These things are not wrong or bad but if that’s all there is, it points to a dangerous imbalance. We are both physical and spiritual creatures and we are designed to be connected to God spiritually (see www.godsgap.net/peoplearelikefish). Trying to satisfy your spiritual needs by consuming products, services and even people is like eating chips all the time.  It just won’t work.

Let me challenge you to consider eating spiritual vegies by looking into whether you might be better off living God’s way. This will involve time and effort but it will be worth it. I know many people who have overcome their addiction to junk food and swear that it’s worth giving vegies a decent go. If you would like to give going God’s way a try then check out www.godsgap.net/godsway  The Rev.

 
Spirituality and the ulitmate question E-mail
Western Echo Articles

The other day I googled the word ‘spirituality’ and got 95,000,000 results for my effort. For a world that has supposedly been scientifically explained by the theory of evolution that is a big preoccupation with spirituality. I think most people would like to think that we are much more than a mammal who knows how to use a knife and fork, appreciate sunsets, and laugh at jokes. Perhaps we are spiritual beings as well? Well, let’s work through some broad options.

  1. The safest option is to believe in a non-personal spirituality or force. So the spiritual part of you is connected in some way to a greater spirit or force. George Lucas portrayed something like this in Star Wars. Jedi’s were taught not to trust their ability to think but rather to feel the Force. Connecting to the Force gave them extra powers like seeing the future and using a light sabre (really cool). The problem with this option is that it cannot explain justice and it cannot account for love. A non-personal power is like a river. We may harness its power by damming it and making electricity but we cannot find out whether something is fair by consulting a river.

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People are like fish E-mail
Western Echo Articles

ImageEver wondered why happiness is so elusive. So much of our time and effort is spent trying to be happy. Sometimes we wonder what happiness is or we lose sight of it altogether.  We get caught up in the busyness of life, particularly if you have kids. Perhaps there isn’t a lot that is actually outwardly wrong with your life. You might have a good home to live in, a stable relationship, a reasonable job or study. And yet with all of this in place are you happy, are you satisfied with your life?

We are like fish. Take a fish out of water and it continues to be a fish though it doesn’t cope very well out of water. The most it can do is flop around and gasp for breath. Take a fish out of water and it begins to die because it can’t absorb oxygen from air, eventually it will die. Sometimes fish will jump out of a tank. We are like that; we choose to live independently of God. Outside of God we don’t do very well. Everything becomes self focused, life suddenly becomes all about ‘me’. That’s why we have a ‘MY’ store. We are the ‘me’ generation. And the more we focus on ourselves the less content we are.

The solution is to live as you have been designed. Like the fish on the carpet you need to be put back in the water where you can breath. It is impossible to replace God with your work, your relationships, your home, and your holidays. God is too important to be replaced by anything you might find in this world. You have been made with a particular gap that only God can fill. If you would like to know more about God then visit www. godsgap.net

 

 
A new ministry in The Gap E-mail
Western Echo Articles

Perona Family
Perona Family
The Presbyterian Church in The Gap recently welcomed Rev Chris Perona, his wife Michele and their four children to the local community.

Chris was officially inducted into the Ministry on 10 February 2006. Chris has a background in nursing, is a graphic artist and has spent the last five years ministering in a small parish in country Victoria.

Chris says that his primary ministry concern has to do with the way in which people relate to God and what this means in their everyday lives, such as their work, their marriages and their social relationships. Chris has pointed out that when people have problems in everyday life this can be because they are struggling in their relationship with God, whether they realise this or not.

Chris has also emphasised that one of his priorities is to remind people that there is a lot more to life than merely surviving or doing well. What we do with our lives here and now, he says, has a direct bearing on our eternal destiny.

Chris’s hobbies include spending time with his wife and four children, going for long walks with his Doberman, riding his motorbike and watching movies.

The Gap Presbyterian Church meets at 1195 Waterworks Road at 9am every Sunday. All members of our community are welcome to attend.