Achievement is rarely easy

There is one answer to all these questions. Everyone wants to enjoy privilege without responsibility. Toys without packing up, home life without effort, freedom without consequence, sex without commitment, love without sacrifice, money without hard work, respect without patience and understanding.

Multitasking is handy

Strength to bear responsibility

Join together a male chauvinist, a feminist and some terrorists and you get an average family. Men and women are gifted differently on purpose so that they can work as a team to love each other and raise their children. The paradox of family is that there is unity and rivalry at the same time. Each member of a family is different which can be both helpful and annoying.

Are you like an elephant?

You may be more like an elephant than you think. Apparently circus elephants are chained to a stake in the ground. Having asked why the elephant doesn’t simply use it considerable weight and strength to rip the stake out of the ground the following explanation was given. When an elephant is still a baby it is chained to a stake and it does everything it can to escape; it pulls hard against the chain but cannot free itself. Eventually the elephant learns that it cannot escape and it remembers this for the rest of its life so that it becomes more a prisoner in its mind than in reality.

The unfolding of self

Bud opens to a flower

“We live in a culture that has become intoxicated with ‘self.’ We’ve turned so far in on ourselves that we are afraid to feel sad, bored, upset, frustrated… so we go numb or succumb to ‘the wall.’ People need to have a hope and motivation outside of ‘self.’ “

Christ can still your storm

We live in a world of noise. It is all around us, the sound of traffic, mowers, chain saws, mobile phones, iPods in our ears, movies— and the noise of our own minds. We face so many challenges at home, work and with friends that our minds become cluttered with many different thoughts and emotions. We sometimes use noise to hide from our own thoughts— especially when our thoughts may be trying to get through to us about something in our lives. Silence can be scary because it can force our minds to dwell on our pains, our failures, our guilt and our shame.

Love's Kiss

The most powerful thing in the world is your tongue. We achieve everything with words  — we think in words, we communicate with words and we impose ourselves on other people with words. Words can either be so uplifting or so hurtful. How many times have you started a fight without even trying? Have you ever wondered why your tongue gets you into so much trouble? Is there any hope for our tongues?

Christmas = more than presents

Christmas more than any other time of the year should be a time of hope. Life can become so hectic, busy, complicated, frustrating, disappointing, painful and at times hopeless. Sometimes our hopes either don’t come true or they don’t end up being what we expected. We are just like kids who love getting presents, particularly ones they have been hoping for, but like most toys the novelty wears off and they get replaced.

Captivity of addiction

An addiction seeks to fill and satisfy a felt need (a desire). These felt needs are common to all human beings. We all have a strong desire to be accepted and popular, to be powerful and in control of our lives, to be successful and important, to be satisfied and happy. These core desires govern our lives. We take care to wear and to look a certain way so that we will be accepted by our friends. Bullies at school or at the work gain a sense of power and control by intimidating those they consider weak. Some people become workaholics so that they can feel successful and powerful. Generally food, drugs/alcohol and sex are used to gain as sense of satisfaction, happiness, excitement and comfort.

Addictions are deceptive. They may give a person some sense of acceptance, power, success and happiness but it comes with a cost. It usually means you have to be and do something to get what you want. Sometimes this doesn’t work. Your friends may reject you even though you’re trying to fit in. You can lose your job. You can lose control of your life. Eventually food, alcohol and sex don’t give the sense of satisfaction and happiness that they once did. But sadly, this usually leads a person further into their addiction: by eating more, drinking or using more drugs or being led deeper into sexual perversion.

God willing I hope to write Part III to Facing Addiction next month. In the meantime watch or listen to the messages at www.godsgap.net/triumph. If you would like to speak with me send me an email so that we can organise a confidential time to talk.

 the Rev (Chris Perona)

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Mmmmm Chocolate

Where does this compulsion come from? Is it something that is internal or external, physical or spiritual? Those who struggle with an addiction often feel like they can’t help themselves—they feel as though giving in is inevitable—and so it can be hard to work out where this compulsion comes from and how it works. It would be simplistic to say that a drug addiction is just a physical dependency because a person is more than a biological bag of bones. Let me suggest that an addiction affects the whole person: physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Hit for a six

Hurts are too valuable to waste; they are opportunities to triumph. When things go wrong it often feels like circumstances have hit you over the boundary line for a six. Our sense of happiness feels like it hangs on a thread; it is too easily hijacked and held ransom by so many different daily trials. But hurts, trials and suffering no longer need to be your enemy; you don’t have to be afraid of them any more. In fact it is possible to consider their presence in your life with joy.

Hurts have a purpose and a process. God uses pain as a way of helping us to exercise faith in him. This exercise produces patience and perseverance. God allows faith in him to be challenged so that faith can be strengthened. This is a process that leads to spiritual maturity where a person can face trials with joy because they know that they have the ability to turn their trials into triumphs. Rather than being knocked for a six you can knock the trial over the boundary line. Regardless of the pain in your life—whether it’s a flat tire, missing the bus, an exam, marital difficulties, or overcoming an addiction—you can face these trials with joy if you know and accept what they are for: to make you spiritually mature.

Learn how to turn your trials into triumphs by listening or watching the messages at www.godsgap.net/triumph

the Rev (Chris Perona)

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How work can feel

The grind of work can really get you down, particularly if you can’t really afford to spend much on your days off. Throw in all the chores that need catching up on, family commitments, and you wonder where the weekend went. Have you ever wondered whether you have a life at all?

It’s not a bad thing to ask yourself ‘What is it I live for?’ Living for the weekend narrows your life too much. Working so that you can afford to consume products and services is too shallow. Working to make something of yourself is too self-centred and self-serving. So what is worth getting up for every morning of every day? Well not something that is temporary; like a car or a house, or a movie, or a massage or a nice meal out. What about getting up for something of real value -  something that reaches out beyond this life and into eternity?

We live in a finite material world but behind this world is an infinite spiritual realm. Wouldn’t it be great if you could tap into this realm in such a way that you could enjoy every part of your life, your work, your chores, even your difficult relationships? The first step is to consider Christ’s words in Mark 8:35-36 “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

If you would like to explore your spirituality further then watch or listen to the messages at www.godsgap.net/kingdom

Natural selection teaches that the fittest characters are the best reproducers. They in turn pass on the successful changes/ingredients to their offspring who will out produce their peers. This is what is meant by “Survival of the fittest.” Evolution is a very appealing theory. We are attracted to it because it elevates the strong, the powerful, the beautiful, the famous and the athletic. We would all like to be at the top of the human food chain. We try to climb the social and careers ladder: we try to eat better; we try to be liked by important people; we try to be successful. But in reality we all struggle.  Even the best of the best get old and frail.

Anger is powerful. Those who use it explosively become addicted to the effect it has on those around them. It is dangerously unpredictable and most people respond to it by withdrawing to a safe distance.

Those who use it enjoy its intoxicating quality of making them feel right and everyone else wrong. It makes them feel strong and everyone else weak; it makes them feel in  control of their lives. However, anger is like a drug: it only masks reality for a short time. Very often it only makes things far worse than they were before.

Not everyone uses anger explosively. Anger can be cold, calculating and outwardly hidden—until it strikes. Often this anger works at revenge by a thousand paper cuts; the cold shoulder, sarcasm, pointed humour and gossip are a few favourites. Cold anger can become a way of life; it is often critical and discontented.

Every couple has arguments. What’s fundamentally more dangerous to a relationship is not arguments but what I call drift. Over time couples change so they find they are not living with the same person they once knew. Many relationships fall apart because couples no longer enjoy the same sense of love and passion they first enjoyed.

In addition they realise that their interests have changed so that there is very little keeping them together. Perhaps it feels like there is more pushing them apart than there is pulling them together. This does not mean ‘the writing is on the wall’ for your relationship.

Opposites attract but after time what was attractive can become annoying; spontaneity becomes disorganisation, determination becomes stubbornness, extroversion becomes attention seeking. Many couples give in at this point and decide that it is easier to start again. But this often only repeats the same process; drift is a part of every relationship. Let me suggest that however your partner is annoying you, and perhaps pushing you away there is hope.

There are many books that give marriage advice but none on how to ruin your marriage. It would seem that couples struggle without ever trying.

Why does it become harder to maintain the passion and romance in a marriage? Of course we can blame it on the busyness of kids, family, friends and work. But there is a deeper cause to our marriage difficulties. The challenge comes from having too high an expectation of our spouse.

Guys: Like to feel needed and useful; they like to protect and provide for their wife and kids. Above all they want to know that their wife respects them. It’s really tough on guys if their wife starts to put him down. If he feels that nothing he does is good enough he will either blow up or retreat into silence. If his romantic advances are rejected it can really discourage him because he wants to feel irresistible to his wife. When she resists (probably because she’s tired) he feels hurt.

Worry

Despite our Aussie saying we do in fact worry.

Christmas is meant to be a celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth, a special time of peace and good will for everyone. Traditionally families get together at Christmas to enjoy a special meal and give presents. This reflects the gifts given to Jesus when he was a boy by the three wise men and God’s gift of his Son Jesus Christ to the world. Christ came to bring peace to a very troubled world.

Spiritual Surfing

The other day Guy had a whole stack of different black and white photos which he spread out on the floor. We each had to pick a photo that best represented where we were on our spiritual journey. One student chose a photo of a rail depot with hundreds of interconnecting tracks. This represented the spiritual opportunities he felt he had before him.

For me personally, I have grown a lot. It’s been great to explore important issues like how our values and beliefs affect the choices that we make. When was the last time you re-assessed your priorities? Is there more to life than work, family, friends and possessions? Perhaps there is a spiritual side to this world that you should look into?

If you would like to share in our spiritual journey then you can find a snapshot of each class at www.godsgap.net/gospiritual. The Rev (Chris Perona).

Depression

Depression makes you question the purpose of your life. Before it comes to stay you may have been happy to exist on very temporary goals and purposes, such as anticipating your next pay rise, buying a new pair of shoes or going out for dinner. However, if depression is your companion these things just aren’t good enough reasons to get out of bed. The power of depression is in its ability to strip you of being able to enjoy anything. So maybe it’s time to have a completely different reason to live.

Children grow up thinking that the universe revolves around what they want. Unfortunately, so do many adults. Life is about them, about what makes them happy, what they find satisfying, and so on. Depression takes all that away and leaves a choice. What will you live for? Living for yourself isn’t the right answer. You have to find a reason outside yourself to be able to face living a life with depression.