There are many books that give marriage advice but none on how to ruin your marriage. It would seem that couples struggle without ever trying.

Why does it become harder to maintain the passion and romance in a marriage? Of course we can blame it on the busyness of kids, family, friends and work. But there is a deeper cause to our marriage difficulties. The challenge comes from having too high an expectation of our spouse.

Guys: Like to feel needed and useful; they like to protect and provide for their wife and kids. Above all they want to know that their wife respects them. It’s really tough on guys if their wife starts to put him down. If he feels that nothing he does is good enough he will either blow up or retreat into silence. If his romantic advances are rejected it can really discourage him because he wants to feel irresistible to his wife. When she resists (probably because she’s tired) he feels hurt.

Gals: Like to feel loved and protected; they like to nurture their husband and kids. Above all they want to know that their husband loves them. It’s really tough on gals if their husband seems distant and unaffectionate. If she feels unloved then she may seek comfort elsewhere (indulgence food, chick flicks) and/or start picking on her man. This will either cause the man to blow up or withdraw emotionally which only upsets her even more.

Both men and women need to realise that no human being is capable of replacing God. Only God can love unconditionally even when we fail. The mistake we make is to expect our spouse to be perfect which is impossible. If you would like to know more then listen to the Genesis Factor messages found at http://www.godsgap.net/genesis

the Rev (Chris Perona)